10 Stay FAT Holiday Diet Tips

If you want to slim down while you laugh it up, you've just got to tune into my yesterday's interview on VividLife Radio. A full hour of the best weight loss and wellness wisdom ever, peppered with laughs, giggles and chortles.

One of the best of the gleeful chuckles occurred when we were talking about my infamous and most popular Beliefnet special gallery post "What's Your Stay Fat Strategy?"

Sometimes, people have to see the picture of failure before they can be motivated toward success!

Tongue-in-cheek style, today, Our Lady of Weight Loss and Janice Taylor (that's me) give to you ...

"10 Stay Fat Holiday Diet Tips"
that are guaranteed to help you succeed in NOT losing weight!!!

1. GO HUNGRY! Studies show that we eat faster and more when we are hungry, so if you've got a party or an event to go to, go hungry!

2. SUPER-SIZE! The bigger your portion, the better. Seriously folks, this could be your last supper!

3. EAT FAST! It takes twenty minutes for the brain and the stomach to communicate with each other, sending the "I am Full" signal. Those first twenty minutes are prime eating time. Take advantage of them.

4. STAND! There's no point in sitting down and eating like a 'lady' or 'gentleman.' Whether you are standing, walking, running or sitting, it doesn't matter, as long as you keep on eating!

5. DO THE HALF THING! Eat Half of the Pie. Half of the Turkey. Half of the Ham. Half of the Stuffing Casserole. Save the other half for later!

6. DRINK! Alcohol is known to lower one's inhibitions. So drink, loosen up, and have yourself a ball!

7. THE FORK TRICK! Instead of dipping the fork in the salad dressing and then into the salad, load your fork with a nice hefty couple of pieces of lettuce and then dip it in the dressing until it is drenched in heavy oil!

8. COVET thy neighbor's food. Always check out your friends' and neighbor's plates. See what they are eating and need be, pick off their plates!

9. ANYTHING CHOCOLATE! Chocolate can act as a mood booster. Happy, Happy, Happy!

10. LEFTOVERS! Makes sure that you save some of the leftovers for a late night snack. You definitely want to end your happy stay fat evening on a fat note!

Weight Loss Sabotage: Eating "Light" Foods

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When you go grocery shopping, you'll see a plethora of "light" packaged foods. From crackers to chips to salad dressing to beverages, many people trying to lose weight pack these items into their carts so they can feel good about eating healthier versions of the foods they crave. The problem is, these foods actually end up being just as unhealthy, but in a slightly different way. Companies can't just remove the fat or lower the number of calories without affecting the flavor. To compensate, they add extra sugar, sodium, additives, or chemicals. Or in the case of these Light Lays, they add fake fat (Olestra), which is believed to interfere with the body's absorption of important vitamins, and can cause diarrhea.

Light foods are just bad news, so it's OK to embrace real food that contains real fat. According to Women's Health, "many nutritionists recommend eating full-fat food in smaller portions to lose or maintain weight." Balance is the key. Enjoy the foods you love — like steak, French fries, and ice cream — in moderation, and don't get obsessed and go on a fat-free diet. Our bodies need certain types of fat in order to function normally, and they also help satiate your hunger longer, so you avoid overeating. Be a label reader and give foods made with healthy fats such as olive oil, nuts, and fish the green light. Limit the amount of saturated fat you consume by opting for lean meat and nonfat dairy products, and completely avoid trans fat, including hydrogenated oil. Only 20 to 35 percent of your diet should include fat, so shoot for 44 to 77 grams of fat a day (for a 2,000-calorie diet).

Extreme diets: Life on 800 calories a day

Her death made headlines around the world: Samantha Clowe, a 34-year-old British woman, died suddenly this fall from a previously undiagnosed heart condition. At the time of her death, Clowe was following a plan called LighterLife, a very low-calorie diet designed to help obese and severely obese patients lose weight.

She was consuming 530 calories a day.

"Samantha came to LighterLife with a BMI of 37, weighing more than 17 stone [238 pounds]," says a spokesperson for the company. "Although she managed to lose 3 stone [42 pounds], her health may have already been compromised." An inquest determined that Clowe most likely died from cardiac arrhythmia but could not determine what role, if any, Clowe's diet played in the development of her condition, only that her death "may be related to her low calorie diet and weight loss."

Very low-calorie diets have been used to help obese and severely obese patients lose weight for more than two decades. "Next to bariatric surgery, nothing is more effective for weight loss than a VLCD, including pills and other diets," says Dr. John Hernried, medical director for OTC Medical Weight Loss Group, a weight-loss clinic in California.

But the diet "is not indicated for someone who wants to lose 10 pounds." Most programs screen potential participants to ensure they are psychologically and medically stable enough to begin the process.